real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
