He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
