No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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