he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
