how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
