Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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