Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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