I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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