weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
