I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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