no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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