i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
