I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
