I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
