brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
