Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
