i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
