It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
