We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
