Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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