How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
