all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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