i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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