she was so not down for the gang bang
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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