thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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