Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
