she was so not down for the gang bang
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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