Don't you send me to vm
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
