well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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