Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
