Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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