I need help removing her.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
