Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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