it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have surprise drugs for everyone
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
