You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
