There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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