i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
