Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
