If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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