and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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