The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
