I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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