I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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