Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
