She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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