just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
