your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my being single is dangerous.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
