My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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