I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
