Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
